


Goodbye Gwen

by Name_Pending



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Angst, Gen, Jack and Gwen Friendship, Post-Series, Protective Jack Harkness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-17
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-12-30 21:16:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12117396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Name_Pending/pseuds/Name_Pending
Summary: It's time for Captain Jack Harkness to leave for the last time.But before he goes, there's someone he has to say goodbye to.





	Goodbye Gwen

Anwen’s about fifteen months old when Gwen notices that Jack is back. Rhys is mercifully at work, leaving Gwen and the baby at home, and Jack doesn’t leave when he realises that Gwen has noticed him.

Gwen, who had been outside in the garden, lifts up her daughter and carries her inside the small house, leaving the front door open. Her facial expression tells Jack that it’s a grudging invitation, but it’s an invitation all the same. He follows her inside and shuts the door.

There’s not much to see inside, just an average little house with baby toys strewn around the room and odd files from Rhys’ work lying around. There’s nothing remarkable about this place, and he thinks that it doesn’t suit Gwen, but he doesn’t draw attention to it. He knows better than to piss her off right now.

Gwen busies herself with setting Anwen up on a small rug on the floor with a few toys, and she sits down next to her daughter. Part of Jack wants to join them - he remembers a time when he and Lucia had sat so similarly with an infant Melissa - but he resists the urge. No matter what he and Gwen once were to each other, they aren’t terribly close right now. After all that they’ve gone through, they’re still friends but the trust is fragile. It’s uncomfortable for both of them, and Gwen’s not as good at ignoring the tense atmosphere as he is.

Jack sits on the couch, a respectable distance from Gwen and her child. She ignores him entirely, but he expected that. Dropping back into her life was a risky move, but he knew he had to take it. After all, he’s going so far away, and this time he won’t be back - he can’t just leave without saying goodbye to her.

/ 

Several minutes pass before the two old friends speak to one another, Jack silently watching Gwen interact with her infant daughter all the while. She’s a natural mother, he notices, and it surprises him that he’s surprised. After all, her compassion had been what had drawn him to her in the first place. He’d thought that Torchwood had robbed her of that, though; it makes him smile to know that she’s persevered despite all that has happened.

Gwen breaks first, and her tone is not friendly. “Why are you here, Jack?”

“I had to see you.” Jack meets her eyes but doesn’t move towards her. “I’m leaving.”

“You just got here.”

Gwen eyes Anwen carefully, making sure the girl is occupied, but then she rises and walks out of the room. Jack can hear the kettle boiling and smell the coffee she’s making, but he remains where he is. It almost surprises him that Gwen would leave him alone with her daughter, but he doesn’t say anything about it when Gwen returns, carrying two steaming mugs.

Jack smiles when Gwen hands one to him. “Thank you.”

The mug is warm in his hands and he blows it carefully before taking a sip. It’s cheap instant coffee, and he grimaces as he unwittingly remembers a time when he and Gwen would share better coffee with a third team member. He pushes the memory out of his head forcefully - any memory of Ianto Jones is still a knife in his heart and he didn’t come here to inflict his pain on Gwen.

She’s staring at him.

“You didn’t answer before. Why are you here?”

“I told you. I’m leaving.”

“And going where?”

Jack smiles fondly; Gwen never was one for waiting patiently for answers. “Far away.”

“You’ve gone away before.” Gwen takes a short sip of her coffee and joins him on the couch. “And you always come back.”

“Not this time.” Jack set the mug down on the coffee table. “I only came here to say goodbye. Gwen, I’m going away for good this time.” He takes her hand in both of his and hangs on tight. “I just wanted to say goodbye first.”

Gwen stares him down, but then she looks away. Looking at her lap, a sad smile crosses her face. When she looks back up at him, the smile is still there, and her eyes hold a familiar warmth.

“Typical. You come back just to tell me you’re leaving.” She reaches out and punches him in the arm, just hard enough for it to hurt. “Bastard.”

Jack grins at her - he’s used to this sort of tough love from Gwen. “Sorry.”

Gwen shrugs. “Where have you been, anyway?”

“Away.” Jack sobers instantly. “Not far enough, though. It’s time to move on.”

“Move on to where?”

“Anywhere” Jack smiles, and this smile is sad and ancient. “Everywhere.”

“That’s not an answer.” Gwen pulls her hand away, stands up and glares at him. “You can’t just walk in here and tell me you’re leaving and not even tell me where you’re going.”

“When.”

“When _what_?”

“It’s not _where_ I’m going, Gwen. It’s when.” Jack feels like he should stand up too, but he doesn’t. “I’m leaving this planet and this time I’m … going home.”

It’s a lie and he hates himself for saying it. He’s not going home, not to the Boeshane Peninsula anyway, but it sounds better than the truth. _I belong nowhere so I’m going to wander aimlessly until I find somewhere I can try to fit in_ ; that doesn’t sound good, and Gwen won’t accept it. Right now the important thing isn’t telling Gwen the truth, but telling her a kind lie that will help her sleep at night. He’s hurt her so badly already, he can’t add to it now.

“Home?”

“As near to it as I can.”

Gwen doesn’t have an answer for him, that much is clear right away. He can practically see her warring with herself internally, trying to decide if she should convince him to stay or wish him well and watch him go. He’s never been sure just how much she blames him, but he knows full well that when it comes right down to it, Gwen loves him and she’ll tell him that it wasn’t his fault. He almost wants her to ask him to stay.

He could. He could stay close by and watch over her. He could keep an eye on Anwen, watch Gwen’s daughter grow up. He could try and reconnect with Alice, hold onto the fruitless hope that one day his own daughter will forgive him for his unforgivable crime. He could watch out for Rhiannon and her children, try not to fail them the way he’d failed Ianto.

He won’t, though.

No matter what he does, he’ll still be left behind. He could stay and watch generation after generation be born and age and die, and convince himself that it was worth it, but the truth is, it’s not. After living that reality for so long, Jack knows that trying to protect everyone who ever loved the person you care about is pointless - what matters is doing what you can for that person who you love.

For Ianto, that means he has to give Rhiannon what he can and never meet her. He’s dangerous. The best he can do is anonymously leave her money. It’s not enough, but it’s all he’s got. He wonders sometimes if Ianto would approve - not that it matters now.

For Gwen, though, the best thing he can do is disappear. While he’d like to watch Anwen grow up, Gwen won’t want that. She’ll miss him when he’s gone, but she knows that the safest thing she can ever do for her daughter is keep her away from Captain Jack Harkness. The most selfless gift he can ever give her is his absence.

And the sooner that absence begins, the sooner Gwen and her family will be safe. The thought makes him grimace, but it also forces him to his feet.

“I should go.” He meets her eyes, hesitant to move forward.

“Yes” Gwen whispers, and he knows that she’s come to the same conclusion that he has - she’s safer without him. Still, her eyes are watery as she offers him another sad smile. “Good luck, Jack.”

Jack grins at her and doesn’t hesitate this time as he moves forward to press a tender kiss to her Gwen’s cheek, just a little too close to her mouth. He feels her tense a little but she relaxes quickly, and he lingers a second too long before pulling away from her entirely.

“You’ll be okay.”

Gwen nods. “So will you.”

Jack’s smile falters a little - since the 456 and Ianto and Stephen he hasn’t been anything even vaguely resembling okay and he wonders how long it will be before he feels anything like it again - but he doesn’t let it fall.

Jack waves his fingers at Anwen before walking out of the room, and Gwen walks him to the front door. He opens it and steps out before he reaches for her hand.

“Goodbye, Gwen Cooper.”

He kisses her hand and then releases it before he can feel her fingers tightening around his any more. There are stray tears on her cheeks now, but she doesn’t bother wiping them away, and he doesn’t try to do it for her. That kind of closeness between them is not entirely gone, but it’s safer to let it die than to try and bring it forward now. So he just smiles kindly at her, knowing that Gwen can read him well enough to hear what he isn’t saying.

And then he walks away, hearing Gwen whisper a final goodbye so softly that he isn’t entirely sure that he didn’t imagine it.

He’s a good distance away by the time he hears the front door shut; it’s only because it’s so quiet here that he hears it at all. The sound almost makes him turn around for a last glimpse of Gwen’s life, but he refrains - knowing Gwen she’s gathered her daughter into her arms to watch him from the window until she can’t see him any more. Gwen never did like being left behind.

Although she knows it’s for the best that he goes, Jack knows that Gwen’s making a tough decision. She didn’t fight with him or try to make him stay, and he thinks that she probably would have if she didn’t have Anwen to think of.

She’s putting her family first, as she should. At least he can say the same.

He might have failed Suzie and Toshiko and Owen and Ianto, but he can still save Gwen Cooper.

It’s not enough, but it’s all he’s got.


End file.
